These lesser days

The lesser days between Christmas and New Year really make me feel the difference between here and back home. It's always a little obvious at Christmas time, but the big difference here is that these days in between Christmas and New Year are work days, whereas back home, they are very much part of the holiday season. Of course, as usual in America, the fact that they are work days doesn't stop everyone from doing the minimum amount of work. But nonetheless, its a case of trying to de-emphasize the holiday (or quasi-religious) nature of the days. I don't think it's a conscious effort - just part of the ingrained culture.

Of course, in my case it's extra-sensitive because I'm trying to rely on people back home to provide information in order to begin planning for our upcoming wedding. I don't think dad is checking his e-mail at the moment (good for him!)

I think the other thing on my mind is that right now I feel kind of like I am pushing against the flow of life - flying into the wind.... I believe that we are supposed to work hard to accomplish what we are trying to do in life, but I also think that at a certain point, struggling against the natural current is to fall into the error of Jonah running away from Nineveh.

Bonhoeffer talks about God's call coming as part of many things in life grinding to a halt. Perhaps for me, that time came at the end of last year and continues now... It is certain that in terms of career, friends, mission... all these things are not moving with any momentum. Of course, most people have times like that. Who knows whether circumstances are coincidental or have a higher meaning. Perhaps both... I know we're not supposed to resolve tensions by sacrificing what we have been called to do, but it is hard for me to remain in the place I am in without grasping some power to control - or the illusion of such.

There must be things worth waiting for - upcoming openings for me to pursue. I must remain alert, able to give myself fully when the time comes... and prayerful and hoping with faith for the best to come.

It finally happened

Ah Mr. Mercury,

You know the strange paths that life takes. Although perhaps you became familiar with some slightly stranger paths than most. This morning I feel exhausted from the pursuit of immigration ins and outs. It appears that the US wants me to convert to being a citizen rather than remain as a permanent resident as was my preference. I have mixed feelings about this. Although I would not have to relinquish my current citizenship, it is true that I still have some qualms about the moral responsibilities a citizen must shoulder. In a nation like this, surely it can not be argued that all responsibility for international actions lies in the hands of the political or economical elite. The citizens must share some part of the blame for their military's stance in the world.

When the fatal bullet passes through the brain of an Iraqi father defending his country or an eighteen-year-old American marine, someone must be responsible, and though I feel that responsibility is not equally distributed, there would appear to be enough to go around. I could argue that no one in the entire world is immune from some share of the blame. Even as a permanent resident, I share in the economy of the country, its living and working conditions, its roads, oil, even its political and mass-media intrigues. I am ashamed, but I must not deny that I am partly responsible for everything that has happened.

Becoming an American citizen, I would take on a greater share of the blame for our actions. As a Christian I am glad that ultimately I have access to corrective forgiveness for this blame, but that in no way means that I can continue to be a part of the problem. However, He said that "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath" and I think the intent was that law was ultimately in place to better us as human beings and I must therefore strive to do whatever will further this goal. Will I help the situation by not becoming a citizen? I could certainly stir up some reactions among some people by being outspoken about refusing citizenship. I could mollify the feelings of my family and friends in other countries by refusing to align myself with the country. Or, I could choose to attach myself to this country and then fight to help change things. Ultimately, I don't believe that citizenship will have much affect either way, and might allow me to be more constructive in changing things. Thoughts?

Diamond successfully deployed

Yes! I have successfully attached Sexy Beast to myself on a more permanent basis through a successful deployment of a diamond engagement ring procured at Village Jewelers through the nice South African propriator Phillip.

Tuaca

Tuaca is very evil.

Love computers

Love/Hate is the thing which is the core motivator for decisions in us as human beings. Thus, if the AI guys are going to crack the creativity problem they must come up with a way to replicate these philosophies/spiritualities in a mechanism. I can understand modelling emotional response as a procedure, but surely this is fundamentally different from modelling emotional experience which by its nature can not be described due to the mediation of the construct of the communication form being used. The only way to resolve this problem is to deny that emotion exists separately from the communication construct employed. This would mean that I am my communication.

Eventually I would of course agree with this statement in the same way that I consider truth to be a relative quantity. The only question remains what we consider to be the target of these relative measurements. As a Christian I consider this to be God/Christ... however, this implies that I love only to the extent that my response is characterised by the love that God exhibits.

How do you deal with bad customer service?

So I was on the line with AT&T today trying to work out why my friend Amos (who doesn't speak great English) was having trouble getting a phone line connected.

I can safely say that this was one of the most humiliating, hurtful experiences I have had in years. I am left wondering why we as a society have ended up with this situation where paying for a service to be provided is so often accompanied by terrible personal experiences like these. It's not just this industry - recently I and others I know have had terrible experiences with companies like American Airlines, State Farm Auto Insurance, Nationwide Insurance, Bank of Ireland, a private contractor, Expedia.com, Compass bank, John Eagle Honda and others...

There seems to be an implicit understanding in the marketplace that customers can be treated badly because none of the other companies do much better.

Which leaves me wondering what a consumer can do. Dealing with these large companies (mostly) leaves definite emotional injuries - yet I wonder if it's really worth bothering switching to another provider. After all - aren't these companies all just variations on a theme?

So I'm left wondering - what do you think are good ways to deal with these issues?

Transformers movie is almost more than meets the eye

So the movie was kind of cool if you followed the cartoon. However, this is where the cool stopped. The robots were not particularly well matched to their cartoon designs. The human on human violence, never mind robot on human violence was enough to make me cry within the first five minutes of the movie. With US military and Iraqi locals dying by the hundreds every day, I fail to see how anyone can sit back and enjoy this movie without making the connection to the horror of what is really happening.

As if that were not enough, the entire movie turns out to be one long parade of military heroism, camaraderie and military-industrial propaganda. The 17 year old boy inside me was ready to jump into the nearest Blackhawk and mow down some evil Arabs at the merest suggestion. This was a bit offset by the disgusting "hot/thin white chick with perfect teeth who knows cars" who was supposed to be the prize for our gallant hero.

I read on the web that this movie was somehow anti-Bush because of its "Ding dong" reference. However, I'm not sure that you could produce a more pro-Bush movie if you tried. Yeah the president is a jerk, but he's also the head of a kick-ass military machine striving for the good of all mankind - principally by breaching all known bounds of international jurisdiction....

If you decide to accept the military propaganda angle, it still leaves the somewhat disturbing aspects of destruction of property, all kinds of vehicle-lust and a complete disregard for tragedy in general.

This movie sucks and will further debilitate America's ability to be taken seriously by the rest of the world.

<JRM>
Wanted to be video-game-sleek and shiny as a new Lexus, but was as clunky as anything rolling off today's GM assembly line. Misogynistic, racist, and unabashedly infatuated with its own
strategies of product placement to boot. The most heroic characters in the film: the Murdoch-Accent Hacker Barbie and that vaguely Dixie-ish Sec. Of Defense played by John Voight? Please.

Still, what amazing composite work on the special effects. Kind of a cheap out that Megatron did not actually transform into anything recognizable.

Give me the real ultra-violence of THE WARRIORS any day.
</JRM>

Remedy thirst

The thirst for crisis creeps closer falling
People thought I was the minister of
Fluid motion toward the walls
The bow toward me
Fever pitches that I am the great one
I am the I am the
People thought that I was the architect
I am the I was the problem
The issue was self-preservation
The remedy was rest.

San Fran Freako

SJ and I had a great time in San Francisco. First visit there for both of us. We are singing awesome music at choir at the moment (for the most part) Rennaisance can't be beat. Work is still crazy, but I finally have enough time to blog again a little.

So I had given up on the builder recommended to me for house repairs and decided not to sue him as it was more effort than the deposit was worth. Fortunately my hero Mrs. K descended upon him as vengeful fire from heaven and this morning work resumed after a 3 month hiatus. Hooray.

Don't know about you guys but this year seems packed full of stuff I must consider accomplishing and overcoming. It can be exhausting at times.

Find photos here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/goofballlogic/SanFransisco07?authkey=SVaCVjP4jOc

Ugly mess

so if you visit my blog, please leave a comment. I like to know that people are reading and it helps me stay in touch with friends.


I feel pulled in a million directions right now. I wish life was a bit more simple sometimes. Even though I enjoy the complexity. I think one of the things that makes programming fun for me is that I spend my time sorting and straightening out twisted lines of logic. When I have done a good job, everything is left in good order, tidy and accessible. When I have done a bad job, things are so jumbled that the application starts to show unpredictable signs of instability. Basically the logic becomes disorganized and consequences start to build upon each other in unpredictable ways.

One of the holy grails of programming has been the concept of black boxes. This enables us to put a bunch of logic in a black box, and then use it as a chunk without having to worry about the details. Think of a kitchen appliance. You don't have to know how the electronics inside work, you just turn the kettle on and the water heats up, then it turns itself off and you pour the water out.


That's what I spend my day trying to do. Making a "kettle" that you don't have to wiggle the power cord and tape the lid down with duct tape and you don't have to hold it upside down to get the hot water out.

Click to use Google to search public code for:

• Code that is commented with "ugly mess"


• Code that is commented with "beautiful code"


• Code that is commented with "fuckin mess"

Editing links on your blog

Find the template in your blog settings:


Then scroll dooooown till you find the links section:

Blogging, RSS, Google

OK - here's an interesting blogging wrinkle for those of you interested. The following is a screenshot of my personalized Google homepage with the Google Reader control showing a list of blog items from various friends.

The following are four steps (roughly) to accomplish this. It assumes that you have a personalized google homepage. Let me know if you want more help with this.

Suicide bunny

So for Christmas my awesome sister and brother in law bought me the bunny suicides books 1 and 2. > On Amazon < I am so touched that they know me well enough to buy them for me.

So snow falls in Dallas for a day or two. Something new for everyone to freak out about then I suppose. I havn't looked but I'm sure the news channels will have an all day extravaganza on snow - it's atomic chemistry, political bias and sociological impact.... bah humbug.

So throughout the world I feel a little lost as to where my home is. I realize that the choice is mine to make, however.... senses of home drift like clouds in the sky. Of course I feel at home with my darling bunny but... she drifts also.

Well... off to programing heaven or hell for me today. We shall see what the day brings. Muse - Origin of Symmetry...

Returning home (to Dallas) I have been kicked in the ass by a monstrous panic attack. Combination of anxiety about seeing my darling again, horrible work, and terrible house responsibilities. SJ has been so patient, kind and secure in the face of it. I am thoroughly impressed with this woman.

Last night she told a very funny story about sparring with guys and always being surprised when she was overwhelmed. If you know what SJ looks like you would understand how funny this is. She's possibly shorter even that Tia which is saying something. "I always seem to think - 'maybe this time I'll win'" : >

Sin-like friend test

OK - here's my test thingy so I can be cool like Sin.

Take the test

Homeward bound

Is that sniff because of that massive cold I have, or because of the pain of leaving behind relatives young and old, or because of the joy of returning to my honey pot...? Yes. Nightmare flight tomorrow. Should be ok once I make the connection in Gatwick. Can't wait to see SJ again.

I look forward with excitement and trepidation. Will my hopes be dashed?

Hello island hoppers

I have aligned myself with the Belfast bed tonight. Once more I have flown from Island to island and tomorrow I shall ship out again up north to see Grandparents Sam and Flo. How awesome. How tiring. It is a great experience. I think Sarah-Jane is awesome. My sister is awesome too, but in a different way.


Milport on the Island of Cumbrae


"The Wedge" is the narrowest house in Millport. Yup - that little cream part....


Bringing in the New Year in Scotland


The Scottish mainland