So... dinner last night

On Thursday nights we try to have dinner at my house for the house-dwellers. Last night I also invited sj and her room-mate too. Having warned Tia to lie through his teeth and be on best behavior, the outcome was even more fun than I anticipated. Plus we had a nice toasted head Cabernet Sauvignon and the food turned out good.

Despite working 20 hours on Tuesday and taking late night walks with sj I feel pretty good. Very tired but pretty good. As Chris' biker jacket patch says "What a long strange ride it's been."

When I think about things it scares the crap out of me. How to know when to go fast or slow, where is safe to go, what is sacred, what is illusory. I long for blissful entrancement that makes the cool evening air complete and the mundane city dance. But I can not afford another tragedy. Not that my own heart would be broken beyond repair - of that I am no longer afraid - but rather that I would spoil an innocence far more pristine than my own.